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The crippling days

Some days are good. Some days are not so good. Today is such a day.

I was going to make a whole segment about self-quizzes and analyzing them. It was supposed to be done by today. But it is not. Instead, I have been totally blank, the only emotion being angst. I am letting people down. I am letting myself down. I should just do it. It becomes a circular internal discussion. Now it’s 10 pm. Tomorrow is the start of my rhythm experiment (8 am here I come, zombie mode). Still haven’t started the post… But you know what? It’s okay and here’s why.

I have been struggling with an on and off depression for years. Sometimes medicated other times not. With my situation, I have a lot more lows than highs and today is one of those lows. But instead of letting my internal berating win I accept that today is an off day. People will wait for content as long as I am open and honest. I am not less of a being if I have off days. This is a process and every process has its roadblocks.

The process of allowing myself to have these off days without falling into a black hole of sadness has been a long one. There are still days that turn into depressive periods but I know that today is just an off day. I might go into my various coping mechanism in another post in the future if there’s any interest.

Anyway, no zero to hero post today. Love yourself, allow off days, and getting out of bed is sometimes achievement enough.

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