On Monday I woke up with a fever and a stuffy nose. I felt feverish so I took my temp (38’c) and immediately panicked. My brain went into overdrive and I started googling all of my symptoms. While sitting there I probably developed five new symptoms. Welcome to the reality of being a hypochondriac.
3 hours went by and I was now an expert on Covid. Was I any calmer? Of course not. Getting tested was out of the question since the process is more of a risk than just staying home unless I get really sick. So there I was, a victim of my own creation. It’s all in your head they say and boy howdy they ain’t wrong.
I have felt fairly safe during most of this year. Sweden hasn’t really been hit that hard all things considered. But after summer I knew it was gonna hit hard and I was right. I really try not to obsess over the reports coming out daily but most of my waking time I have this nagging thought that I need to keep myself informed. It’s one of the reasons I have kinda gone off social media and have limited my news obsession. I need to defend myself from intrusive thoughts.
Having a hypochondriac mind is not a blessing in the slightest. It’s an obsessive disorder that’s not cute nor should be made fun of. Making fun of it is like making fun of O.C.D because you clean your house more than once a week. HAHAHA Karen really funny, your O.C.D is so quirky. All the while some of us need to lock and relock our door 5 times every hour because our quiiiirky brains will give us an anxiety attack otherwise (one of my friends suffers from this).
So I will leave you with this. Please be respectful, keep your distance and for fuck sake have some heart for people that are struggling with mental disorders. We are not quirky, we are trapped inside of our own heads. This has been my TED talk now go and wash your hands!