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The Eye Creatures (1967) – Not the eyes

Once every blue moon a movie like The Eye Creatures comes around. It is quite a sight to behold—finally, a contender for the worst movie I have ever watched. It almost rivals Santa and the ice cream bunny in its horrible presentation. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. Let’s sit down and thoroughly enjoy ourself some good sci-fi horror.

So this is your basic invaders from space story, mysterious spaceships, aliens, dumb teenagers, that sort of stuff. Sadly, that is how deep the story goes. It is presented in such a formulaic way that I could recite the movie in my sleep. We have incompetent police, incompetent military, brain-dead teenagers, and of course, an angry farmer man yelling “get off my lawn” to any and all visitors. I wish I could pad this out more but that’s the entire story, I am sorry to have spoiled this storytelling masterpiece. At least the hairstyles look good.

The monster design in The Eye Creatures is not all related to eyes but rather marshmallow mishaps that do literally nothing. Well, they do try breaking into an empty car for whatever reason. The acting is forced and over-the-top in the worst way possible. Practical effects are laughable even by 60s standards. Lastly, we have the music. Oh god, the music is absolutely horrid and never stopping. It is jazzy and does not care about screen context or literally anything. It’s like they possessed a poor jazzman to play his heart out for an hour and not stop. Truly a movie to be enjoyed with the sound turned all the way down.

I wish I had anything nice to say about The Eye Creatures but I do not. It is an hour and a half of torturous alien garbage and not in the enjoyable b-movie way. It’s a cheap movie that feels cheap and I cannot recommend this to literally anyone. I wasted this hour and a half so you don’t have to. Now I will proceed to eat many misshapen marshmallows in pure spite!

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