This is a movie that exists. I wish it didn’t. It has aged like fine milk, a remnant from 2014. Imagine putting your feet in a grinder and slowly grind, grind, grind. It’s like that, but you’ve also been put on so much Xanax that the tiredness takes over the immense pain. Welcome to the domain of Grumpy Cat.
Little kid frequents a pet store that has a grumpy cat that just cannot get a new owner. The little kid is sad because she has no friends. She wishes for a friend at the mall pond and boom, she can now talk to Grumpy. Pet store has a prize-winning dog worth a million and dumb & dumber the band wants to steal the dog from them. It’s up to Grumpy Cat and the sad kid to save the day. That’s the kind of story we get, oh also it’s something about Christmas I dunno.
I can feel my brain cells fleeing en masse so I will keep this short. The acting is pretty good, the music is terribly forgettable, the effects are boring, and the plot is dreadful. It’s surprising how such good acting does nothing when the script is written by a comedic deadbeat. This is extra sad since the writer is actually a good one (he’s a writer for Spongebob).
Grumpy Cat the movie, the game, the disease is self-aware and thus needs to tell us that every five seconds. Breaking the fourth wall can be funny, but not when that’s the only thing you do. Oh did I tell you that they manage to plug merch in the middle of it as well? Cause they sure as hell managed to do just that.
So if you want to entertain your now braindead child. Put this movie on full blast and watch whatever enjoyment of life you and your kin had just melt off your bodies. Also, remember to smile when the awkward implied rape/sexual trauma of a kid joke hits you in the head just at the end. -10/10 please end me.